Easter should be a very important day for the believer, but for me, this year, it seems kind of lame. Before you shout blasphemy, I in no way think my "feelings" minimize the amazing sacrifice that Christ gave or negate that he DID indeed rise from the dead, to life, and is ALIVE today. My belief remains, but my passion has waned. I am complacent.
I am hungry, but not fed. The bread of life has become no longer a necessity, but a chore. I am lukewarm. I am not sinning in the sense that my outward actions show that my heart is far from the lord. In fact, I honestly don't think I am far from Him. I just think that I have a hard time knowing if I am living in Him, or just going through the motions.
We try to make Him a priority every day. I try to teach my son about the Creator. We pray together as a family, we pray together as a couple, I pray. Perhaps, the reason that everyone else is making a big deal about Jesus this week/weekend makes me want to do it less, because I want to worship Him daily and not just be an Easter and Christmas kind of Christian. I don't know. What is my deal?
Have you struggled with this? I want to be passionate for my Lord again, but I don't want it to hurt (very much). How have you gotten past a season of complacency with your God? How do you keep Christ central not just at Easter (but some help there would be nice), but everyday?
What are you doing this weekend to remember what He gave for you, instead of getting used to hearing the story and losing your passion?
For now I will rejoice in the little things; the laughter with family, the joy of spring, and hope that God will open my eyes to the beautiful sacrifice He made for me.
For now I will meditate on my favorite hymn: