Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Just Finished: Cupidity

Around Valentines Day my sweet husband heard a FamilyLife broadcast with the DeMarco's, feeling convicted he ordered their recent book, "Cupidity"
Cupidity: 50 Stupid Things People Do for Love (Paperback)


I also heard the broadcast and felt that twinge of guilt over some of the stupid things I have done in our relationship. I promptly stole the book when it arrived at our house and just, recently, finished.

This book would be well suited for the conservative single or the "nuclear" family of stay at home wife and bread winning husband. I, fortunately, fall in to the latter. The book is a very easy read. Each chapter deals with an act of "cupidity". While I feel like I did glean some good things from this book, it isn't amazing, but just another Christian relationship book. I always hate being negative about things, but  I thought it was a little lacking.

Don't get me wrong- I need to be reminded, over and over again, about the basics of married life. I screw up often; however,  I feel like I gained more from the radio broadcast than from reading the entire book. The writing is sometimes cheesy, but maybe it is geared more for singles. And, maybe after hearing the broadcast my expectations were a little too high.

My biggest complaint, (and perhaps the most telling of my spiritual state, depending on your beliefs) was the idea that men may have to, and in fact should, be willing to confront their spouse when there are issues; but women should merely pray for the men in there lives to be convicted and thus letting God change them. Now, I agree that men should address issues within marriage with tenderness and truth. I also believe that women should pray for their spouse to be convicted by the Holy Spirit when there are problems. I do NOT think that women should avoid confronting their husbands. Granted, we suck at it. Instead of respect and gentleness we serve our men a plate full of anger, nagging, and disrespect. So, I think a chapter on the cupidity of how we confront the men in our lives and how to confront in love would have been MUCH more helpful than skirting the issue and basically telling women to suffer through in silence. I will tell you right now, there are times when I have had to confront my husband. There have been times when he has confronted me. If I would have let those things fester on and on, I would have become resentful and bitter. Even if he didn't change over night, knowing he knew my heart, my concerns, and that I expected him to start working for something better, made things a bazillion times better. A little conflict is better than months and years of swallowing the bitter pill. But, maybe that is just me.

Overall - it was cute. Not earth shattering, not totally lame. It had a lot of good stuff and just a few little things that I think should have been edited out.  Sometimes honesty is brutal, but it is better than the alternative. Plus, I paid good money for this book. :)

2 comments:

  1. oh wow. i fully get what you are saying about husbands/wives confronting. i completely agree (even w/ your representation of how us wives tend to confront our men) so true, so right on. the book sounds interesting...thanks for the overview of it.

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  2. Thanks for the honesty in your review!

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