Monday, December 27, 2010

Fatigue

I have been noticeably absent from the blogging world. Frankly, I was ready to check out from the regular world, too. Not in a "I don't want to live" sense, but in a "I would like to be alone" sense of checking out. Don't worry - I don't think it is in my make up to get too depressed.

Things have just seemed overwhelming. It seems we have endured almost two months of someone being sick in our home. Perhaps, we have had a week or two of reprieve, but not nearly long enough for this pregnant woman to feel like she doesn't need to sanitize the doorknobs daily. From head colds, to ER trips, to the latest round of the stomach flu - I just wasn't sure if God's grace was going to be actually sufficient. But, of course it it. And, or course my two months of inconvenience are nothing more than that in the grand scheme of things.

I certainly had a much greater appreciation for Mary, our Saviors mother, this season. I sit at the computer 1 1/2 weeks until my due date wondering WHY this baby seems to want to stay in the womb until my stomach actually bursts open because the baby is so big. The doctor's don't seem concerned, but I tell you I am concerned that the elasticity of my skin is at its max! I was hoping today would be the day. It was my dad's birthday.

This is a rather melancholy post, but sometimes a girl just needs to let her stream of conscious poor onto the page, to make room for, hopefully, cheerier thoughts and meaningful musings.

I hope you all had a glorious Christmas and that the New Year brings great blessing to each of you!

xoxo
Jes

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Little Star - A Children's Christmas Book Review

Little Star
I was so excited to get a new book in the mail, just in time for Christmas! Little Star by Anthony DeStefano did not dissapoint! This sweet story about a special star that gives all he has on the eve that Jesus was born has become a new Christmas tradition in our home. The illustrations by Mark Elliot are fantastic and the book gives new meaning to the star that sits atop your Christmas tree. My two year old loved the book and has asked to read it again several times.  You can purchase the book, published by Waterbook Press, on Amazon.com.

*I did receive a free copy of this book to review, but the opinions expressed in this post reflect my personal opinion and that of my son. :) 

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thankful Heart

Since I don't want to be the only one in bloggy land that doesn't post a thankful list - here you go. I will leave out all the easy things to be thankful for and just say "ditto" to everyone else.

I am thankful for the new stretch marks I found last night, because having them means that I have a sweet BIG little baby growing inside me. 

I am thankful that even though my coat doesn't zip comfortably anymore it still keeps me warm. 

I am thankful that even though I hate cleaning my house for company - it does mean that I get to enjoy a clean house for a few days while I fool people into thinking I am not a direct descendant of pigpen. 

I am thankful that my husband still has work - even if I wish he could blow things off some days and just help me out with errands, doctors appointments and cleaning the shower. 

I am thankful that I have friends that disagree with me because it helps me think critically and appreciate other viewpoints. 

I am thankful that we don't have TV because otherwise my child would be a couch potato.

I am thankful that my child is more comfortable being left in a strange place, alone, with toys than he is to be left in a familiar place, with a safe teacher and other kids. He is shy - and that's okay. It means he won't learn other kids' bad habits as quickly.  

I am thankful that I have things to be thankful for. (And I am thankful that my grammar is not graded when blog posting.) 

Happy Turkey Day!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Monte

It would seem that Boden is becoming quite the football fan. However, I am not sure if it is the actual game he is excited to see or just this guy....








Only time will tell. GO GRIZ!

Thank You!

Monday, November 01, 2010

Trick or Treat

The great thing about having a two year old is that he is perfectly contented to share a milkshake and watch 30 minutes of TV instead of trick or treating! So, that is just what we did last night.

Don't worry we didn't deprive our handsome cowboy from all the festivities. We carved pumpkins.





We did dress up and had a great time at a party on Saturday. 



The best part about skipping all the candy? We didn't have a sugar hangover this morning! 


Happy Monday, partner! 


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Grace Abused...

Well - one may say that blogging has been on the back burner lately. I am now almost to my eighth month of pregnancy. My mom was here visiting from AZ. I had a glorious visit from my bestie, Rachel. We are delighting all things fall AND I have been enjoying the 31 days of grace that Chatting at the Sky has been posting for the past few weeks. If you don't have time to check it out, ponder a great quote that she blogged today.

"“The church, or I should say, church people, must quit adding the word “but” to the end of our sentences about grace. Grace plus is no longer grace. Grace minus is no longer grace. We are afraid people will abuse grace if presented in its purest form. We need not fear that, we should assume that . . . Of course grace will be abused. But grace is a powerful dynamic. Grace wins out in the end. It is not our responsibility to qualify it. It is our responsibility to proclaim it and model it.” - Andy Stanley


I will say amen and amen to that! 


P.S. Thanks for keeping me in your blog reader - if you don't want to miss another of my sporadic posts subscribe! 

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Hearts

I was wondering if you would take a minute to pray for a sweet baby girl named Hannah. She is one week old and having heart surgery today (or maybe tomorrow). You can get a little update here. She is a beautiful girl and I am thankful that the Lord is already working through her and her parents in the lives of others.

<3

Friday, September 24, 2010

A break...

With Norse home again, I was looking forward to a break. You know - a momma break from bathtime and bedtime routines. Just a little time to myself. Twenty minutes of time to just do whatever I wanted. Perhaps I would read the paper, check my email or simply stare into space knowing that not one thing would be dependent on me for those few precious minutes.

WRONG.

When your sweet two year old, smelling delicious from bathtime looks at you with tears in his baby blues, saying "Mama, come too! Mama read story, too." It is just too much. Soon, I know that I will have to say no because I will have a newborn that will need to nurse. Soon, it won't just be my little man and his parents, but a sibling will have come onto the scene, stealing away precious moments that we used to be able to have, just the two of us. So for now, I sigh, smile and let him take my hand as he leads me to his room. I will treasure this time, because while new memories will be made when the baby arrives, this time where our attention is undivided will be lost. For now I will glory in my only son, while he is still my only.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Still no news...

Well, Norse has yet to arrive home with an elk - so I keep waiting.

I am thankful that my mother in law is arriving today to spend some time with B while I attend a quarterly board meeting on Saturday. It will be nice to have a bit of a break.

It is still somewhat of a survival mode here on the home front, but the pets have been banished to the cold rainy outdoors. The reason? Because when I arrived home at 10:00 PM on Wednesday night after sitting for three hours at a continuing ed class, the dog had puked on three different rugs, all over the dominoes and a little in the hallway. GROSS! Praise God this pregnant woman didn't lose it when cleaning it up. Oh, these are the moments when I wish Norse were here!

In less repulsive and much happier news my 24 week checkup went well. Baby seems to be growing just right and I can officially say I have blossomed into a contented fat pregnant woman - I gained TEN pounds in FOUR WEEKS! Let's just hope that growth spurt was the baby and not just my butt. I wasn't chastised since my total weight gain as of 4 weeks ago was only 3 pounds - my gracious doctor just said I was catching up. It was inevitable.

I am not sure the oreo's are helping.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Just getting by...

Some times you just have to get by.

Do you ever wonder why things go awry when you are getting ready to go on a trip? Like why in the world would the valve fail on your pipe behind the fridge, soaking into the wall, ruining the drywall and warping the wood floor on the opposite side - the day before you are leaving for a week? I like to think it is so we don't get too caught up in our plans that we forget real life. I am however, VERY thankful that we caught it before Norse left because I would have had to call a plumber since fat pregnant women have trouble jumping into crawlspaces, moving refrigerators, and lying on the floor.

I also wonder why my angelic child decides that this week he should amp up the whining, biting, hitting phase of being 2 - while I try to change the sheets  EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. since they are soaked with pee. It is probably so I remember to be thankful for the very man who gave me this precious boy.

Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. I am already counting down the days until my hunter returns from the wilderness (with hopefully enough meat to fill our freezer). I am also feeling beyond grateful for the sweet friends that are helping me get through my CRAZY busy week and to that amazing grace Giver who is sustaining me daily.

How is your week going?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

10 years...



No one told me that after 10 years of marriage I would love you even more.

I didn't know I would still find myself breathless when you kiss me and weak when you touch me.

I didn't know that the tears we cried together would only make us closer.

I never knew that having a child would strengthen us as a team.

I didn't expect for you to make me feel so beautiful when my baby belly meant I couldn't see my feet.

I had not heard that marriage would bring so much laughter into my life.

I didn't know that you would be the one to show me what faithful meant.

You have surprised me with how much you have given to our marriage - how hard you have worked to be a husband and father.

I haven't forgotten the excitement I felt ten years ago as I became your wife. I haven't forgotten because I feel that same joy when we part in the mornings and when you come home in the evenings.

You truly are my best friend. My handsome lover. My safe place.

I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of loving and feel more loved by you than I thought was humanly possible.

Thank you Norse for making me your wife. I can't wait to see what the next decade brings as we walk this path together.

I love you.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Cherry Face

Eat, Pray, Love...

So, I have never read the book or seen the movie, but I adored what Emerging Mummy had to say about it. It makes me happy to eat, pray and love in the mundane life I live. :)

Have you read the book or seen the movie? What do you think? 

Monday, August 16, 2010

Summer = too busy with other people to spend time with my man...

Perhaps it is the mark that I have officially become a responsible adult. If so, I would like to return to the flighty, selfish person who doesn't accommodate others. This summer has been a constant barrage of family, friends, outings and obligations. Okay, okay - you have heard me complain that I get lonely, but I will tell you right now, loneliness can still happen when your life is inundated with people. I am trying to remain thankful that we have people in our life that want to spend time with us (even though sometimes it seems like we are just a conveniently free place to spend the night.) I really am grateful for the fun we have had with family and friends, but there is something that has suffered because of it - that thing is my marriage.

Don't read too much into this, my husband and I are still very much in love, very much committed to one another, and very happy to spend the little time we have had, with one another. It just seems that somehow we have been too busy to really connect. The last couple of weeks we have tried to make the effort to actually talk to one another about what is really going on with "us". We have had to deliberately take the time to really be with one another and I am afraid we may have offended some people in the process. However, I make no apologies - my marriage is more important than someone else's weekend getaway. It just is.

In my own heart I have been convicted that I have been secretly building up walls to keep Norse out. Instead of making the effort I have simply just let things happen and instead of growing in my desire to be hospitable I have become bitter against those who keep interrupting our summer. I have let small offenses take root and left them go unchecked, until now. And now, we have had tears, difficult discussions, and inflicted small wounds upon one another that will take time to heal. No it is not easy to work through some of my junk, but it is worth it, because my marriage is my most important relationship (other than the one with Jesus - I know).

I know that I am partly reacting to the thought of having a newborn again and all that it brings and ultimately takes away (i.e. freedom). I just don't want to waste another moment before we are once again called to deny ourselves for another season of breastfeeding, little sleep, and dirty diapers. In the long run there is no greater blessing than my amazing husband and children, but be honest - the first couple of years with kids is equally as demanding as it is joyous.

So, tell me- oh, wise reader - how do you balance it all?  Do you struggle with being hospitable? How do you set boundaries with family and friends to make sure you have time to work on your marriage and create special memories with just your children? Am I being selfish? 


P.S. - I found these two quick reads about marriage and date night helpful as I try to get my marital compass pointing in the right direction.

P.S.S. - I know, Norse, that you don't usually go to the links I post (and that I am not your Holy Spirit), but you should check them out for some insight, too. :) I love you!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friends...

I would love it if you would hop on over to my sweet friend Erika's blog and read her recent entry about their sweet little Hannah. She is due to make her appearance soon!

Erika is a real life friend who I have been able to get to know even better through blogging (since we live a bazillion states away from each other.) Please join me in praying that God's grace be sufficient in whatever His will be, in this situation. I am praying for a miracle for sweet Hannah and hope you will, too! She truly is WONDERFULLY MADE!

Monday, August 02, 2010

I am a C-H ......

Yes, we all have issues with what people do in the name of "Christianity"...

I thought the response to Anne Rice's recent departure from Christendom found here at Mama:Monk was spot on and I agree wholeheartedly.

Take the time to read it.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Summertime

I haven't had many earth shattering thoughts lately. I am just trying to live each day to the best of my ability, while asking God to help me through life with a potty training two year old and pregnancy aches.

Sometimes I  can't believe what an amazing family I have been gifted.  My son is such a smart, funny, rowdy, thoughtful boy and my husband continues to amaze me with his generous heart, admirable work ethic, and handsome face.

I don't know what is to come as we look ahead to life with a new little one and the prospect of Norse not having work after the next few weeks. For now I will revel in the joys of today and hang my hopes on the One who gives good gifts and provides the grace to make it through the obstacles of life.

Today I celebrate summer -




Sunday, July 11, 2010

Just another summer weekend...


Over the 4th we spent time in Conrad, MT with my husband's family. Sometimes I forget how chaotic things can be when all five siblings, plus their children, plus spouses and boyfriends/girlfriends all get together. Needless to say, I was thankful for a drive in the mountains for a couple hours.

We had a nice time at the parade and Boden LOVED the firetrucks, tractors and candy!


Finally we spent the afternoon celebrating a special cousin's 1st birthday...


and watched a Rodeo. Boden already has dreams of saddle bronc riding. Every time a cowboy was bucked off - he would yell enthusiastically "'Nother One!". I would say he enjoyed the rodeo very much. 

We thought we would be smart and that he would sleep on the drive home that evening... not the case. We have a sleep fighter. Will your child sleep anywhere and anytime? Please, share your secrets. We learned that the pack and play can no longer confine him, so we will take any help we can get for future reference. 

Friday, July 09, 2010

Nursing in Public...

So, I am not sure if you are in some of the same blogging circles I am, but there has been an informative "carnival" happening over the mom blogosphere . I think it is great to spread the word that nursing is a fantastic start to your babies life and that it really isn't that big of a deal (plus, it is a mothers legal right) to nurse when out and about. I however, have not joined because ... get ready for this... I do NOT think it is too much to ask for a woman to do it discreetly.

I nursed my first until he weaned himself around 14 months. In the comfort of our own home we nursed without a cover, but in public I either nursed in the car or with a cover (these worked great for me).  It honestly makes me uncomfortable to see another woman whip it out and let her little one go to town while I am out with my husband eating dinner. What you do in the comfort of your own home - who cares? And if I am in your house, you do it your way.

But, really, how many of you don't feel like you need to look in the opposite direction when someone is nursing without a cover? We can bemoan the fact that breasts have been overly sexualized in our culture until we are blue in the face, but it doesn't change anything. I still prefer my husband to only see my own - even if yours has a baby stuck to it. I can't imagine the trauma a brother must go through when his sister loses her inhibitions because she is breastfeeding.

I am probably behind the times, a prude, living in the dark ages, but I don't think I am the only breastfeeding mom out there who thinks this way. So for those of us that embrace the hooter hiders - keep covering - you don't have to be ashamed. Your child isn't suffering because she nurses in the shade and frankly, I thank you!

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Hello, Can you hear me?

So, since B has turned 2 we have let him enjoy the occasional movie. It seems that he really enjoys movie time and requests it daily. My question for you is: Have you regulated your child's TV watching time or is it not an issue at your house? What do you recommend for good programs on DVD. We don't get network TV or Cable so for us it is a DVD or nothing at all.

Here is my little couch potato - Do you think he is sitting too close? :)

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Life in the fast lane...

So, really I haven't been that busy. I just haven't been in the blogging mood. However, yesterday, my husband said he doesn't even check my blog anymore because I never post. My most loyal reader got the quits on me. So, here it is, a long awaited post for those of you who are still around.


  • We spent 10 days in AZ with my family. It was fun, but both too long and too short at the same time. There wasn't enough time to do everything we wanted, but more than enough time for me to deal with life outside of our normal routines.
  • Part of the reason I was missing the routine is because we found out we are expecting baby #2 this winter! Most moms know that the first trimester is not that fun and that was true for me. I am gladly regaining my energy and appetite. 
  • Summer finally arrived in MT. After a VERY rainy spring we are enjoying the sunshine. We have our salsa garden planted and a few strawberries for snacking. I even killed a snake yesterday in our yard so I wouldn't have to worry about it slithering by while we are trying to enjoy a relaxing picnic in the yard. I am a friend of nature, but snakes need to reside in another part of nature - not MY yard! 
  • We are off to Conrad for some independence day festivities and family gatherings. I love me some Rodeo and can't wait to watch the cowpokes. 
Gotta run and hang out with my super awesome little man. Have a wonderful 4th as you celebrate the greatness of our nation and the sacrifices made to make it so. 

P.S - If you are in the northwest Montana area, remember to check out BSBC for some summer camp fun. Pray for them as camps are in full swing! 

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Update...

I have been absent recently. Primarily, I have just been busy. So, in order to save you from a super long, boring accounting of what I have been up to, I will simply provide a short summarized, bulleted list. You can message me for details. ..


  • Tres Dias - An intense getaway where I saw God work in miraculous ways in the hearts of many women. A time where God renewed my love for His Word and showed me the importance of friendship and community within the Body. 
  • B turned 2! My little man is growing up and he is still the most amazing small person, EVER! We had rainbow cake, played outside and enjoyed being together with most of Norse's family and my grandparents. 
  • I have been to several get togethers with ladies I don't know very well and it has been stretching. I find myself wondering if I should continue to go to them, because I don't really enjoy them, or just focus on the one on one times with friends whom I want to develop a closer relationship. 
  • I (and the rest of the crew) were presented to the congregation as the Pastoral Search Team members.  I hope I am up for the challenge and I hope God will help the process to go smoothly and quickly! 
  • I was doing pretty good with the Couch to 5 K training and then the weather got super crappy and I haven't done anything since. I am SO not gonna be ready for bathing suit season. 
  • Gearing up for two trips this month. One to Bozeman for a weekend and the other to sunny AZ! I can hardly wait, since it actually snowed this week. 
  • Would like you to pray for a sweet friend who is in her second trimester and just found out that her little one may have some serious health issues since only two of the three chambers of the umbilical cord are functioning. SO, pray! 
  • Went and saw Date Night, last night. HI-larious! 
  • I also would like people to know that I am not racist, but I support the AZ immigration bill and this article is why...
That is all for now, just trying to live in grace.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Tres Dias

A while ago I wrote about how complacent I have been feeling. Last weekend my husband went to a Tres Dias retreat and came back refreshed. Can I tell you now that having a husband who is excited about the things that God is doing sure motivates me to be a little more intentional in my relationship with my God.

I go next weekend and am hopeful that God will fan the embers of my heart into the burning flame of passion I once had. I think He is already working on it. I can't wait to fill you in on what He does!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Time-out, Time-In, Spanking and life with a pre-schooler.

Can I tell you right now that we are a sensitive family. I hate to disappoint and the idea that something I did caused someone else heartache - often makes me crumble into a blubbering fool. My son thinks that if he gets the undesired answer to his question that he has been "yelled at" and as manly as my hardworking husband is, he has a tender heart. The area of discipline is something that I have been reading up on, because we all know the horror stories of the terrible 2's.

Recently Time published this article which tells the findings of a recent study linking spanking to aggressive and violent behavior in children. What do you think? 
spanking
My husband was spanked and spanked often. Admittedly, he says he most often deserved it for being naughty and while I am sure he could pack a powerful punch he is very self controlled and has never raised a hand to me or his son. I was spanked once in my entire life and even now the spanker debates if I really deserved it. (I was probably the most perfect child ever raised. - haha) I wouldn't say that I am violent with my hands, more with my words. 

I lean more toward a no spanking philosophy, but I tell you now that I am not perfect and have smacked hands, flicked faces, and swatted a bottom. I am learning. Most of all I want my child to learn. Not to be merely punished, but taught. I want him to know that there are things that are definitly not acceptable and I also want him to have the freedom to be a rowdy little boy and not have to try to be the outwardly conforming perfect (looking) child.  

I often appreciate the perspectives found here and was really moved by what was recently shared not about spanking, but about "time-outs". 


"If you don't have the language to express your emotions,

lack impulse control,

lack maturity borne of experience,

lack the physical and mental ability to do many of the things you want to do and are therefore often frustrated,

having only lived on the planet for 900 days or so,

then you shouldn't also lack an understanding and sympathetic parent who can often mitigate those areas of need, model proper behavior, redirect you from frustrating situations, and comfort you when you need it,


instead of sending you to your room, alone and empty-handed."

Hopefully I can adapt the idea of "time-in" to my discipline techniques with maximum effectiveness, but I would also love to hear what things work for you! 

Friday, April 02, 2010

Getting past the complacency...

Easter should be a very important day for the believer, but for me, this year, it seems kind of lame. Before you shout blasphemy, I in no way think my "feelings" minimize the amazing sacrifice that Christ gave or negate that he DID indeed rise from the dead, to life, and is ALIVE today. My belief remains, but my passion has waned. I am complacent.

I am hungry, but not fed. The bread of life has become no longer a necessity, but a chore. I am lukewarm. I am not sinning in the sense that my outward actions show that my heart is far from the lord. In fact, I honestly don't think I am far from Him. I just think that I have a hard time knowing if I am living in Him, or just going through the motions.

We try to make Him a priority every day. I try to teach my son about the Creator. We pray together as a family, we pray together as a couple, I pray. Perhaps, the reason that everyone else is making a big deal about Jesus this week/weekend makes me want to do it less, because I want to worship Him daily and not just be an Easter and Christmas kind of Christian. I don't know. What is my deal?

Have you struggled with this? I want to be passionate for my Lord again, but I don't want it to hurt (very much). How have you gotten past a season of complacency with your God? How do you keep Christ central not just at Easter (but some help there would be nice), but everyday?

What are you doing this weekend to remember what He gave for you, instead of getting used to hearing the story and losing your passion?

For now I will rejoice in the little things; the laughter with family, the joy of spring, and hope that God will open my eyes to the beautiful sacrifice He made for me.

For now I will meditate on my favorite hymn:

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Just Finished: Cupidity

Around Valentines Day my sweet husband heard a FamilyLife broadcast with the DeMarco's, feeling convicted he ordered their recent book, "Cupidity"
Cupidity: 50 Stupid Things People Do for Love (Paperback)


I also heard the broadcast and felt that twinge of guilt over some of the stupid things I have done in our relationship. I promptly stole the book when it arrived at our house and just, recently, finished.

This book would be well suited for the conservative single or the "nuclear" family of stay at home wife and bread winning husband. I, fortunately, fall in to the latter. The book is a very easy read. Each chapter deals with an act of "cupidity". While I feel like I did glean some good things from this book, it isn't amazing, but just another Christian relationship book. I always hate being negative about things, but  I thought it was a little lacking.

Don't get me wrong- I need to be reminded, over and over again, about the basics of married life. I screw up often; however,  I feel like I gained more from the radio broadcast than from reading the entire book. The writing is sometimes cheesy, but maybe it is geared more for singles. And, maybe after hearing the broadcast my expectations were a little too high.

My biggest complaint, (and perhaps the most telling of my spiritual state, depending on your beliefs) was the idea that men may have to, and in fact should, be willing to confront their spouse when there are issues; but women should merely pray for the men in there lives to be convicted and thus letting God change them. Now, I agree that men should address issues within marriage with tenderness and truth. I also believe that women should pray for their spouse to be convicted by the Holy Spirit when there are problems. I do NOT think that women should avoid confronting their husbands. Granted, we suck at it. Instead of respect and gentleness we serve our men a plate full of anger, nagging, and disrespect. So, I think a chapter on the cupidity of how we confront the men in our lives and how to confront in love would have been MUCH more helpful than skirting the issue and basically telling women to suffer through in silence. I will tell you right now, there are times when I have had to confront my husband. There have been times when he has confronted me. If I would have let those things fester on and on, I would have become resentful and bitter. Even if he didn't change over night, knowing he knew my heart, my concerns, and that I expected him to start working for something better, made things a bazillion times better. A little conflict is better than months and years of swallowing the bitter pill. But, maybe that is just me.

Overall - it was cute. Not earth shattering, not totally lame. It had a lot of good stuff and just a few little things that I think should have been edited out.  Sometimes honesty is brutal, but it is better than the alternative. Plus, I paid good money for this book. :)

Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm never gonna be cool...

The other night while loading the dishwasher I had an epiphany. I am NOT cool and probably never will be. Here is why:

1. I had headgear.
headgear

2. I have no chin - well I have one, but if you look at my profile, it is pretty much the worlds smallest chin. I blame the headgear.

3. I like to listen to old school Mariah while doing housework late at night.
 I have even been known to dance - a little bit like Elaine Benes

4. I still make references to old Seinfeld episodes.

5. In Jr. High I had the unfortunate nickname "The Joker" because of my abnormally large smile. I thought I would grow into it; I didn't.

the-joker.jpg
6. My hair is naturally curly. This means that I never wake up with hair that can just be brushed and left to its own devices. 
(Photo found here and it is NOT me, but my hair has done this after a fight with the blow-dryer)
If we go camping, you will never be able to take me seriously again, once you have seen my hair in the morning.

7. I am horrible at sports.

8. I don't get jokes about current pop culture.

9. I am don't fit nicely into any people group (i.e. Outdoorsy, Hippy, Yuppy, Academic, Redneck...) I am just strange.

10. I married a left handed, red-head. Try that for a discriminated people group. :)
 Good thing he is so smokin' hot!

11. I am not easy to get to know. Translated: I don't have a plethora of friends. (But I LOVE the ones I have:)

12. I can't end lists in a multiple of 5.

13. I talk in math terms, occasionally.
Image found here

14. I like sappy country love songs 

80's bands like Bob Segar, Foreigner, Journey, Pat Benetar and old school John Mellencamp (thanks mom)



 I prefer the early Beatles to the latter;

 and I am not afraid to sing them loudly in the car.

That is just a start. I am pretty sure that I am content to be an adult and not worry much about my social status and I am thankful for my sweet friend, Rachel, who thinks I am cool. Hopefully this doesn't totally change her mind.

Have you ever had a moment when you realized how un-cool you are? The best part is knowing that it really doesn't matter.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Beautiful Hero

I may be one of the only people who haven't seen this performed, but I thought it was beautiful. It reminded me of my beautiful Hero and all that He rescued me from. Be sure to stick it out until the end of the video. It is worth it.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Sickness, Sleep and Sanity....

I am weary.
Sleep Wellness - Tips for a Good Night's Sleep as represented by a tired young woman sitting on the edge of a bed rubbing her eyes.
So many things are good in my life, but right now I feel overwhelmed with the things that are trying.

It could be that I haven't had a full night of uninterrupted sleep in over a week. I am tired. I keep thinking that soon my body will just start functioning normally on little sleep, just as it did when Boden was a little guy. Not so secretly, I am hoping and praying that my sweet little man gets well.

Back to back illness' have taken their toll and while I am weary, I know that sleepless nights are a small price to pay for the a precious son who wants to be near his mama. I just don't know if my heart can take hearing
the cries for one more night. I forget how much it hurts to not be able to "fix it". I forget how much I am NOT in control. I forget how ticked I am that they don't make an over the counter cough syrup for kids under 5.  I forget how inept I am, until simple things like stomach flu and dry coughs remind me of that fact.

For now, I am leaning on the strong arms of my Heavenly Father, to get me through one more night of tears. I pray that He will bring calm hearts and a restful night to our home. Sometimes I am painfully aware that my "problems" are so miniscule compared to those who suffer so much more. So, tonight I also pray that needs I will probably never know, will be met, along with the quick healing of an almost two year old.

Picture found here

Friday, March 12, 2010

I laughed... I hope you won't be offended

If you have ever owned a bad dog you will laugh at this. If you haven't, I apologize in advance...

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Just Finished : The Relationship Principles of Jesus

While meant to be read in 40 days - it took me more like 400. (Well, not quite.) 


The Relationship Principles of Jesus


Whether you enjoyed the Purpose Driven life, or despised it, this book from Tom Holladay - a pastor at Saddleback- is an easy read filled with practical lessons. It offers nuggets of wisdom found in the interactions Jesus had with the people in his life, encouraging the reader focus on what is truly important - people.

6 weeks focused on:

  • Placing the highest value on relationships. 
  • Loving as Jesus loves you. 
  • Communicating from the heart. 
  • Judgement - As you judge, you will be judged. 
  • Servants as the greatest. 
  • Treating others as you want them to treat you. 
All areas that I need to be reminded about, often. 

It would be a great group study since he provides discussion questions in the back  of the book. I often pass my books along, but I already feel like this is re-readable because of the applicable content. I am adding it to the library. 

(And just so you know - I didn't get anything for this positive review. I just liked the book and thought you might, too.) 

Friday, February 26, 2010

One hand to pull you close... the other to push you away...

It has been a FAIL week.

I long to be the woman I should be, while making the choices that lead me farther away from joy.

This song is on repeat right now - just hoping that my actions will soon reflect my hearts desire to be a better woman, wife, parent, friend. Looking forward to a brand new day.



Friday, February 19, 2010

Lent, reevaluating, and making sacrifices...

If you weren't aware Lent began on Wednesday. I have never been a "give something up for lent" kind of person. It really hasn't ever been a large part of any church or ministry that I have been involved with. But, lately I have been realizing that there are certain things that I should probably give up - regardless of lent. Or at least things that I need to take a break from because they are replacing the good things that should be consuming my time.

So, I am giving up Facebook for a while. Well, not really giving it up, because I do use the site as a tool for communicating with the people who are working on different projects with me. So, I am giving up FB as a time waster. No more surfing when I am bored. It seems silly, but I cannot believe how often I just default to going on FB instead of doing something more meaningful. We don't have television, so that doesn't distract me, but I have simply replaced it with FB. It is embarassing to admit this. Already this morning I can count 4 times that I was going to click over, just because I was putting off changing the laundry over, doing the dishes, or reading my Bible. When did I become such a joke?

I have already accomplished much and feel like having one less time waster will help me move forward on my goals to become a more intentional parent, more attentive wife, and hopefully, healthier spiritually, physically and emotionally.

Instead of looking at lent as an archaic spiritual ritual, it is helping me take the time to reevaluate and purge some of the crap in my life. I am pretty sure that God (and my family) can smile about that.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

God is definitely cooler than I am.

 http://farm1.static.flickr.com/34/67865829_18e7655583_m.jpg
Yesterday, I confessed to a couple friends that I was distracted by the fact that a Godly pastor, at a local church had a lisp. It is super slight and most people probably don't really notice it, but when we visited the church, I immediately picked up on it. How horrible is that? Then I felt guilty because I actually told people, out loud, that I noticed it and it bugged me. I really am not a nice person the majority of the time. 

This is why I am so glad that God is immeasurably more kind, compassionate, gracious and cool than me.

Here are a few things that are in the Good Book, that God wrote, that keep popping into my mind:

  • "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12.9

  • "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13
  • "Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are,so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,so that, just as it is written, "LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD."  1 Cor. 1:25-31

So, I say preach on, Mr. hip and trendy, Bible knowing, pastor. You are a testimony to the grace of God and to His empowerment in our lives. You are being used by God to help transform lives and challenge the traditional way we "do" church, here in the Valley. You are rockin' the Word and although, maybe I am not a perfect fit at your church, you have reached hundreds of people who aren't a good fit at any other churches and for that I praise God. Blessings to you, your imperfections, and your strengths. You don't have perfect speech and I don't have perfect skin (we'll just stop the listing of imperfections with that) and God can still do a mighty work in and through us. (And may you forgive me for pointing out your imperfection, when I have so many, if in fact you ever find this blog post and connect the dots that I was talking about you!) That is what makes God so cool and the body of Christ so amazing. 











Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Who is the good guy?

http://blogs.amctv.com/movie-blog/nocountryforoldmen2.JPG

As we enter into a new phase of toddler-hood, the phase where B is asserting his independence, I don't mind being the "bad guy" if necessary.

What I don't enjoy is wondering if being the bad guy is the right thing to do. Is something else wrong or is he just being naughty? Does he really need more sleep or am I just short on patience? Am I a failure or a success as a parent? Am I scarring him for life, creating an attachment disorder, or just plain being mean?

Am I alone in feeling this way?

What advice do you have?


(PS. I am not a psychotic "bad guy" like the dude pictured! He was just the baddest guy I could think of at the moment! )