Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Torn

I am bursting with excitement to go see my great pal, Rachel. We are meeting for a girls weekend. It will be the first time we have spent 24 hours together in over a year! She is a gem.

I am torn, because there is this sweet boy.


And he makes my heart explode with love. I have never left him for more than a few hours at a time. He also fills every. single. moment. of every. single. day. with me (most of the time). He is almost 18 months. He makes me laugh and he exasperates me. He makes me tear up because he brings so much joy to my life, but sometimes he makes me tear up because I am exhausted, frustrated and don't understand what he needs. But, I love him. I love him more than I thought possible.

Then there is this guy.


Who deals with his wife in an amazing, understanding way. He wants nothing more than to make me smile. He even puts up with me when my hormones are all whacked out, I feel like a heifer and my hair is out of control. He even offers to keep B with him for the weekend so i can have an honest to goodness girls only weekend. He offers even though he has a project that he needs to finish. A project that people keep asking him when he is going to finish. That is how much he loves me.

Don't I have it made? Blessing upon blessing is mine! (Remind me of this when I start whining!)

Here is my problem. I kinda want to leave the little man with dad, but it really wouldn't be a big deal to take him with me. Plus, I feel bad because when I planned to take the trip - I intended it to be a break for Norse so he could concentrate on finishing his project. Do I really NEED a kid free weekend or am I being selfish? I do get breaks and Norse watches him so I can go out with the gals every now and then. I am rambling, but I need your advice. Am I having legitimate guilt because I should take him or am I just playing the martyr mommy? Sock it to me sista's (and brotha's)

7 comments:

  1. ack...that's hard. i know about those guilty feelings. even just leaving Micah w/ joe for an hour while I go get my hair cut. it's a hard call. i can sense your frustrations! my honest opinion - if you are feeling a bit "worn" these days, a 24 hour break may be just the thing you need. even though it sounds harsh at times - at least when i say it. on the FLIP side, I don't know Norse, but it may be quite the unselfish "gesture" to acknowledge the fact that he needed this weekend to finish up work, etc - and tell him you want him to have that. just a thought, i'm sure that didn't help you make a decision - but i can see it going both ways... am i making sense, or too confusing? haha. love ya!

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  2. I got this one girl. Listen, I never like to give my opinion or advice but since you asked for it, lol. The guilt of leaving my 2 yr old daughter's side has done more harm than good for me. I would never leave her for more than like an hour due to loving her so much and yes the guilt. But, being in mommy mode 24/7 really starting getting to me. And long story short, I drove myself a little crazy and even separated from my husband for a while. Now, I realize, I need a whole night away sometimes with good adult conversations to be a better, less stressed, chilled out and smiling mom and wife.
    Just tell yourself...it's ok.
    You are an individual, a woman, a wife and mom. Go have a blast and it will be a great thing for him to do some male bonding. =-)
    Hope I helped...((hug))

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  3. Grab your purse and run as fast as you can. You'll relax, enjoy yourself and be a better mom and wife for it. Go!

    just my opionion...
    -FringeGirl

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  4. I would agree that you need a girl's only weekend. I can testify that being a SAHM is wonderful, but we must recharge our batteries in order to be the fabulous mamas that we are!

    Now I need to go take my own advice...;-)

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  5. I say take the break and have a little "You" time. It's a very hard thing to do, but a necessary one. Really both of your boys will be fine and happy to see you when you get home! Whenever my Hubby offers to keep my boys I leap at the chance... Of course you visited my blog, maybe you can see why ;) Thanks for stopping by yesterday!

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  6. Girls only trip! Although, who am I to say... I have no husband or child... so don't listen to a word i say.

    Is there someone else who could take the little man for a day, that way you both get a break?

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  7. I gotta say I'm with Erika and "little toes" on this one! Think of it this way-- (and yeah, I know I don't have kids [yet], but I did grow up the oldest of six kids): You're going to be guiding and nurturing your little guy for at least the next 18 years! Sometimes, a weekend by yourself is necessary! It'll give you a chance to to re-center, and refresh yourself. You'll come back re-invigorated and ready to resume your awesome career as Mommy to Boden again!

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