Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Refreshing


I haven't had much to say lately. I haven't even had much to say to anyone. It wasn't that I didn't have time to write it down, I didn't know what to say. I haven't known how to feel. I feel empty. Like my everything has run out of fuel. I have been snotty to my husband, impatient with my son (and the dog, too), and even somewhat distant from my friends. I am realizing now that I have also been distant from my God.

I have been reading good books and listening to good teachers, but I haven't been spending real time with Him. I hadn't had a good talk with my Father in a long while.

Today, that ended.

I sat outside - mostly trying to avoid the whining coming from my son's room as he protested a nap - and worked on a new Bible study I have started. After finishing the "homework" for the day, I took a look around. The lake looked so glassy and serene from my porch. I started to cry. I have felt so stirred up about EVERYTHING lately, but on the surface I have seemed peaceful. (Why do we do that? Does anyone really believe we are perfect? Then maybe we should just stop trying to convince them.) I realized that I need refreshed. I need renewed. I need restored. I need my God.

Why have I been trying to figure everything out on my own? Why have I spent all this time tucking things into my clenched fists, when I should have been offering them up to the only One who can do anything about them? Why have I insisted on building up my walls, when my hearts desire is to be closer to Him?

I opened up my trusty Word and searched for verses with the word "refreshment"... After the million times I have heard the following passage, why have I never noticed verse 8?


Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.


Pro 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.


Pro 3:7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.


Pro 3:8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones.


So, Lord, take it all from me. The family issues, my failings as a wife and a mother, the uncertainty about prosepective jobs, the insecurity about what I am supposed to be doing. Lord, take it. Lead me. Straighten my paths. Give me Your wisdom. Heal my body and most of all, refresh my weary bones.

5 comments:

  1. I'll be praying, too. I would've seen this sooner but I've been out of town all week. Life can be so overwhelming sometimes - I'm glad you were able to get outside for some peace, quiet, and relief - to really communicate with God again. I think often times that is the only way a person can "hear" Him amidst the craziness, turmoil, and busyness of life. I'll be praying that you continue to find that peace, and keep in communication with Him. I heard a song on the radio the other day that reminded me of that verse (simple verse, difficult to do, but a very important reminder) about casting your cares upon Him... if you're carrying a load that's too heavy, lay it down at His feet... why is that hard for us to do? Sometimes it is hard to trust Him, but I'm not sure why.

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  2. I will be praying for you!
    I know I have felt this way at times too but God is the restorer of our souls and He Will give us what we need but we have to let Him. May you find peace in Him today!

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  3. I found your blog from a link on the Nester (you won a prize) and I believe that what you wrote is exactly what I needed. I know it wasn't a coincidence that I would be led to your blog to read your most recent entry.

    What a wonderful and awesome God we serve!!

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  4. Your honesty is refreshing. We've all been in that place and praise God He does give refreshment.

    Great post and great verses!
    -FringeGirl

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