Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I haven't had much to say lately. I haven't even had much to say to anyone. It wasn't that I didn't have time to write it down, I didn't know what to say. I haven't known how to feel. I feel empty. Like my everything has run out of fuel. I have been snotty to my husband, impatient with my son (and the dog, too), and even somewhat distant from my friends. I am realizing now that I have also been distant from my God.

I have been reading good books and listening to good teachers, but I haven't been spending real time with Him. I hadn't had a good talk with my Father in a long while.

Today, that ended.

I sat outside - mostly trying to avoid the whining coming from my son's room as he protested a nap - and worked on a new Bible study I have started. After finishing the "homework" for the day, I took a look around. The lake looked so glassy and serene from my porch. I started to cry. I have felt so stirred up about EVERYTHING lately, but on the surface I have seemed peaceful. (Why do we do that? Does anyone really believe we are perfect? Then maybe we should just stop trying to convince them.) I realized that I need refreshed. I need renewed. I need restored. I need my God.

Why have I been trying to figure everything out on my own? Why have I spent all this time tucking things into my clenched fists, when I should have been offering them up to the only One who can do anything about them? Why have I insisted on building up my walls, when my hearts desire is to be closer to Him?

I opened up my trusty Word and searched for verses with the word "refreshment"... After the million times I have heard the following passage, why have I never noticed verse 8?

Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.

Pro 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

Pro 3:7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.

Pro 3:8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones.

So, Lord, take it all from me. The family issues, my failings as a wife and a mother, the uncertainty about prosepective jobs, the insecurity about what I am supposed to be doing. Lord, take it. Lead me. Straighten my paths. Give me Your wisdom. Heal my body and most of all, refresh my weary bones.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


Guess what?

God transforms people and changes their lives.

Want to know how I know this?

I use to date a guy who had some issues. One of them was that he was in bondage to alcoholism.

Know what happened?

Jesus gave him a new heart and one day he asked me to marry him.

Last Friday was Norse's Soberversary. It has been 10 years since he chose to live a life without the influence of alcohol.

He gave up this:

And got this:

Pretty good trade, don't you think?

I am so proud of you sweetheart! Way to go. You continue to amaze me every single day. I love you!

Wordle created here.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

At a Loss for Words

Sorry I haven't been posting much. I am tired. We've been really busy and I just haven't had much energy to sit and write about what has been happening.

I did celebrate my ninth wedding anniversary. That was pretty wonderful. We even spent almost 8 hours, just US, when my step mom was here last week! Here is a recent pic from our shoot with Alicia.

All this time and we still adore one another. Praise to Him, our heavenly Father.

P.S. That picture is the ownership of Alicia Brown Photography... NO STEALING. Even though we do look sexy enough to be supermodels :) hehehe

Monday, September 14, 2009

If you are joining me on my quest for a healthier life...

then jump over to Muthering Heights and read her recent post. Honestly when it comes to motivations I am not sure how to make mine the right kind. I wish I could say that every day I try to make healthy choices so I can honor God, but mostly I just want to look REALLY good in a pair of jeans and a bikini. Ok, maybe not even that good, but at least not embarassed at the size of my muffin top and rear end. So, all you ladies with the proper motivations... can you inspire me?

As an update on myself I am toying with the idea of doing a end of summer detox to subdue some of my cravings for yummy, unhealthy foods. I have yet to lose any real weight and am certain that after the last week and a half of company and weddings, I have gained weight. Press on and I will try to do the same.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

What Did You Expect?

"Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation." - Charlotte Bronte

I have often been disappointed because of unmet expectations. I have often been overjoyed by exceeded ones.

Is there a way to see the best in someone, see their potential and yet not burden them with unrealistic expectations? Is their a way to desire the best from someone, yet assure them that when they don't deliver perfection, you are still happy with them?

I always expect the best, but will always love you at your worst. End of story.