Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Bite Your Tongue - Part 2

Words are a powerful weapon. Often in our marriages they are used to manipulate and wound instead of build up and praise. Have you taken a moment to think about how you use your words? Maybe these excerpts from The Word will help you put things into perspective. 

"...a babbling fool will be ruined " Proverbs 10:8b

"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrust of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. " Proverbs 15:1

"A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion it it crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

"The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things." Proverbs 15 :28

"A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind." Proverbs 18 :2

"The contentions of a wife are a constant dripping." Proverbs  19:13

"It is better to live in a corner of a roof (or a desert land (v.19)) than in the house shared with a contentious woman. " Proverbs 21:9

"Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death, so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says "Was I not joking?" Proverbs  26:18-19

Ladies, perhaps you do not suffer from the same fatal flaw of the flapping tongue that I do, but for those of you who share my struggle take a moment to think about what you have said to your dear husband in the last 24 hours. 

  1. Did you bombard them with all your troubles as soon as they walked in the door? 
  2. Did you scold them as you would your children for any reason? 
  3. Did you give them a backhanded compliment and then smile and say "Oh, I was just joking!" ?
  4. Did you nag them in hopes that it would motivate them to action? 
  5. Did you tell them at least one reason why you appreciate them? 

After taking inventory, sometimes we realize how far we've gotten from that hopeless romantic that said yes to the proposal (x amount) of years ago. I challenge you to join me in being more deliberate in what you say, not only to your husband, but to all the people in your life. It is my desire to be a woman who speaks life into the hearts of those around me, not death, even if that means biting my tongue sometimes. 

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

(I recognize that some of you may be in very unfortunate circumstances, with husbands who seem to have no redeeming qualities. Start small and see if the Lord begins to change your heart - even if it means thanking them for showering daily. I also want to clarify that being positive and choosing our words carefully does not mean ignoring serious problems or being a doormat. For more clarification reference this list. )


  1. ouch. OUCH. thanks for the posts. your list at the end of this one hits home too : ) so much of what you wrote i relate with, inluding the first post about "the look", when you are trying to do something, baby is "needy", and husband seems to be "ignoring". i often times do the backhanded "just joking" kind of comment too. argh! so much i could write right now. thanks for the reminders. great stuff to think about. so true. hits home!

  2. Great word, great reminder.. Being a communicator it's really easy for me to offer "too" many words....and sometimes I focus more on the truth than love... But one baby step after another I am learning....

    Thank you for visiting my blog and your sweet comments. It blessed me!



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