Monday, February 16, 2009

Valentines Day after Baby

This was our first Valentines Day since B was born. I thought I had set my expectations quite low. After all I let my hubby spend the majority of the day snowboarding with a friend. It is just a Hallmark holiday, right? We spent Friday night at a fundraising banquet for the DREAM program (DREAM enables people with disabilities to ski and snowboard) and enjoyed listening to the band (Norse refuses to dance in public and I have learned to live with that.) We also "won" some auction goodies for our valentine's gifts.

The previous year at the banquet we won a night at the Kandahar Lodge at the Whitefish Mountain Resort. We had to use it, so lucky for us we were able to book for last Saturday night, Valentine's Day. Remember, I wasn't looking for anything incredibly romantic, we were taking the boy with us. I remind you my expectations were quite low, I just wanted B to go to bed at his normal bedtime, and Norse and I to just be able to relax, watch some TV, and maybe hit the hot tub. Not too much to ask, right? Well, apparently my expectations were just a tad too high, because I ended up with a whiny son who would NOT sleep until well after 8:00 pm and only after we turned everything off and were quiet. Then my husband fell asleep at about the same time, so I got to enjoy the evening watching a Cosby show marathon and wishing for some chocolate. LAME!

I guess it was just another reminder of how my life has changed since the baby came. I know it is only for a season and B will be able to do overnighters after he is done nursing and more comfortable with other people. I think I was just shocked to realize that staying at home can be (and is) more romantic than an evening out. It was just another reality check as I learn what parenthood is all about.

I have come to the point in my life where I long to be the wife again. I spend so much time and energy being "momma" that sometimes there just isn't the time to be the loving wife too. How do I make the most of the limited time I have with my husband? I am open for suggestions, because this momma needs to rearrange her priorities.


  1. I hear ya, sister! On Valentine's Day I was *thrilled* to have adult conversation over dinner at church while the teenagers watched my 11 month old in the nursery. Boy has my idea of romance had to change remarkably in the past year.

    I wish I had some helpful tips, but we're currently in the same boat.

  2. That's got to be frustrating! I have had so many nights like that where I would be looking forward to just adult conversation, not even anything more than that necessarily (just asking for some conversation!) and I finally get baby to sleep only to find that my husband fell fast asleep before I return. We are extremely busy by the time he comes home from work until bed time. Hardly any time for much conversation of any normal length/depth...let alone other marital activities. I've brought it up to my husband a few times. Since then, on occasion he's tried to stay awake long enough to spend some quality time as a couple. Doesn't happen very often...i'm still trying to figure it out. I'm sorry - I know you were looking for imput, but we're still figuring that out too!

  3. Anonymous5:34 PM

    How about finding some friends in the area with the same problem, and once a month, take care of each other's kids for an hour or two in the evening. This is especially helpful, because B will last longer without mama when there's other little guys running around. Then you can go out on a date night, or go back home and snuggle.

  4. Little special loving acts spread throughout the day help MY perspective turn up beat/frisky/fun-lovin'... I love when little romantic or practical ideas come into my head ... Sometimes, just the time spent, preparing a note to hide in the lunchbox or grinding the coffee for an extra pot or making cookies or bread so the house smells good, gets me excited and in a good mood for time with Jeff amongst the throngs of noisy kiddos. I guess, I'm saying, time "alone" is not always an option, but when my perspective turns to how God could use me to make my hubby smile, our time together (with however many others) is special and even romantic, at times.


I love comments! Tell me what's on your mind!