Monday, September 29, 2008

Big Steps

We had an exciting few days. Boden went to his first griz game with Uncle Bjorn! He went to the pumpkin patch and tried "solid" food for the first time! Hooray! Here are some pics that Dad and I captured of these big steps!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Rainy Days and Lazy Tears

I just read a poem written for a family who lost their daughter a year ago today. The little girl was still born. I don't believe that I ever would have cried one tear over it before I felt my own son in my womb or slept in the chair with him all night, just because he had a runny nose, or held him close as he was nourished from my breast, but now I cannot seem to stop crying. It isn't often that words evoke such emotion in me, but perhaps I am just struck with how much this little boy means to me. And more, how much his father means to me.

I have always struggled with trusting God with the ones I love. Probably my fear of losing them too quickly stems from losing my father when I was barely 20. Now it is not so much of a fear of them being gone, but a fear of missing a single moment of joy with them. Will Norse know that I adore him.
Will Boden know that his mother - who never felt maternal - now feels more love for him that she thought possible? It seems as though my personal goals have disappeared and I long only to love them and be loved by them. My life has truly changed. "Every good and perfect gift is from the Lord." And these two are the best gifts my Father in heaven has ever given me.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

A handful of thoughts

I have several ideas about what I want to blog about, but now after having a day lacking in self control I find myself mulling over a passage in Romans... A familiar passage "...For I know nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh, for the willing is present in me, but the doing of good is not." Rm 7:18 Perhaps this is a conviction since today I almost chowed down an entire batch of "Grandma Marge's" chocolate chip cookies. My blunder may seem minor, especially in light of current happenings within my christian circle that has pitted friend against friend and bears the mark of the Enemy out to destroy. Regardless, I need to reevaluate. Who is reigning supreme in my life. Is it my flesh or is it Christ in me? I have daily battles. Go for a walk vs. sit in the chair and immerse myself in the new fiction I checked out from the library. Do some productive chores vs. spy on all my facebook friends and family (i promise not in a creep-o way). Read my bible vs. read a magazine and eat 12 cookies. I have to say that today the flesh was definitely in charge. I guess I am concerned because if I can't have victory in these minor details how can I expect to have victory when real battles come? And I DO NOT want to become one of those people that says " hey there is no condemnation in Christ" and soon instead of even striving to live in the Spirit, I have deceived myself into thinking that the flesh and the Spirit are the same. They are not. End of conversation.

Enough introspection I have too many thoughts flying to expound much more on that subject. I am ready for a turn around. Boden proved to be my example. He has become a proficient rotater in his crib. I place him facing west only to find he can rotate on his little belly so that when I find him later he is now facing east. Crazy boy.

My brain is too divided to wax eloquent on much of anything tonight, so I will say goodnight. Plus here is a pic of my handsome boy and I. I love him. He makes me want to be a better person.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Primarily Pictures

I don't have much to say... perhaps i am having an if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all moment. So yu just get some cutie pie pics...